some notes on the patriarchy

Originally sent October 14, 2025

Hi, friends, 

Today is going to hit many folks in my immediate community hard. My workplace is undergoing yet another round of layoffs, and after nearly a thousand people getting laid off in four waves last year, and the fast and steady decimation of the US government, it's been traumatic for those of us in and supporting civil service. 

We've been exhausted. Burnt out. Needing support, and getting met with punches every step of the way. Our reasonable accommodations have been denied. Our job market is dire. Our infrastructure is crumbling around us. The rhetoric everywhere is detrimental, pulling the weight of daily existence down beyond the ground and far beneath the earth. 

It can feel like we'll stay there forever. 

But we haven't lost yet. 

Every day, someone new speaks up. Every day, something new gives us hope. Every day, we still have access to public resources that have not died yet. We still have access to freedoms that have not been removed yet. Or that have been removed and returned. 

We have lost our hope, but we haven't lost everything. It's still here. 

Things are changing. Sometimes for the worse, yes. It's undoubtedly exhausting. But the destruction of our system is incomplete. And those parts that have broken present an opportunity for change. 

Because even when our systems are dead, we are not yet.

We can still rebuild. And now that we know how to do it better, we can make it better at the beginning this time. 

We can share information still. We can learn still. We can teach still. 

And today, I want to share the learning process of someone who has actively engaged in that process, changing into various shapes over time and continuously learning and growing -- the stuff of life. 

For your consideration. Hope it resonates with you like it resonated with me. Sometimes, internal transformation is the way to create peace -- internally, and societally. 

(The bolding is my own editorial, but all the words are the author's.) 

Image source: Lany-Jade Mondou (https://www.pexels.com/@lany/)

​Your Beliefs Are Your State of Being

by Anna Wooten

I’ve been on a journey of deprogramming the beliefs I inherited from a toxic religious & patriarchal upbringing. These beliefs left me deeply disconnected from my Authentic Self.

Now I do my best to choose my beliefs consciously, by decolonizing my inner systems. 

I’ve been shaping new beliefs that root me in love, spirituality, and shared humanity.

Yet, reprogramming ourselves isn’t simple. We slip back into the same patterns we were raised in, only dressed up in new language. The ego is creative. It can disguise itself in any tradition.

That’s why it takes real work to pause, look at ourselves honestly, and notice our impact. Because spiritual narcissism is alive and well, and the patriarchy leaks into our spaces, because both live inside of us.

Spiritual narcissism is when spirituality becomes a tool for self-importance, using spiritual language, practices, or status to elevate ourselves above others instead of growing in humility, compassion, and connection. It is the ego disguised as enlightenment.

The patriarchy is the system that upholds dominance, control, and hierarchy. It silences voices. It shames sexuality. It shames women. It shames cultural, racial, and religious differences. It separates us from wholeness. It creeps into spiritual spaces as easily as religious ones.

So how do we make sure we are REALLY breaking patterns?

Questions to Check Your Beliefs:
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• Do your beliefs call you to care for your neighbor?
• Do they invite you to examine the impact of your actions on others?
• Do they help you move beyond self-centeredness and narcissism?
• Do they integrate mind, body, heart, and spirit?
• Do they guide you toward supporting your community?
• Do they inspire you to notice and change the systems that cause harm?
• Our beliefs show us who we are becoming. And who do you want to become?

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