"Have a Great Summer": Evidence of Skewed Perceptions

I had my first boyfriend in 2006. We were terrible together. He was tall and awkward and so was I and I made the mistake of telling him that I loved Trader Joe's Australian strawberry licorice. The day after we broke up (I spent an hour on the phone crying, apologizing that I just didn't have feelings for him anymore, that I was sorry, so sorry, I just couldn't do it any more), we had class together. He'd brought in a bunch of Trader Joe's Australian strawberry licorice. We avoided each other's gaze, like proper sixteen-year-olds (or was he seventeen?), as if we would explode if we by mistake had the misfortune of making eye contact. He passed the licorice box around to everyone else in the class; I got the distinct feeling that he didn't actually like strawberry licorice. I might have asked at some point, but I've long since forgotten.

He did not sign my senior yearbook. The white space in that yearbook is plastered with teenagers' graffiti, illegible signatures and inappropriate jokes, some obligatory and some heartfelt. None from him. I wonder what he would have said if he had indeed signed my yearbook. "Gabby: I can't believe your dad actually cornered me and told me not to say inappropriate things about you and your BFF"? "Gabby: Watching you make out on the prom dance floor with your too-short-for-you sophomore boyfriend was gross. Talk to you never." 

"Gabby: Have a great summer."

​I always wondered how genuine people were in signing yearbooks. I felt like yearbook signings were the one time of the year I had permission to talk to people I didn't ordinarily talk to--the popular, pretty girls (we had those, even at Nerd High) who radiated confidence wherever they went, the stars of the school musical I secretly hoped I would one day be as talented as, the boy I'd had a pathetic crush on for four years. I wondered if those people ever thought about me outside of awkward social exchanges and yearbook signings. I wondered if those pen scratchings on those white pages meant anything at all.

Here are a few actual excerpts from my senior yearbook:

• "It was interesting being involved with creative writing with you." 
• "We've had some pretty interesting times in middle school and UHS!" (This was actually the entirety of what this person signed.No other sentiments followed.)
• "Been an interesting few years, have good summer and fun in college, get sleep and do something different."
• "Jeeze I remember the 'dorky' Gabby with braces, now you're just 'less dorky' (the best you can get at UHS). Represent us well."
• "It's been a great run since Mr. Santana's 7th grade P.E. class. You're a great person, and I can't wait to see how great you'll turn out in ten years. Have a great time, buddy."
• "Don't fear the reaper."

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